Listen to your kids.

I was sent to lifeline in oct 2017 after a 9 day stay at the psych ward. My therapist in the psych ward convinced my parents to send me to lifeline after finding out I was smoking marijuana. Growing up in a Mormon family & being adopted caused lots of mental health problems for me. When I got to lifeline I was told I would grow up to be 3 things: an addict, dead, or homeless. As a scared 17 year old I believed them. I had 5 months before I turned 18 and decided to just “go with the flow” till I could sign myself out, as everyone had been there 9+ months already. I wasn’t allowed to talk to my parents more than one 10 minuet, monitored phone call a week. I wasn’t allowed to talk about my feelings, what was going on with staff, or anything other than basically apologizing for being a “horrible child to my family”. Once a week we would sit down as a group and call out others for their “behavior” and basically berate them on the human they were. They made me feel unseen, unheard, and worthless. Everyday group talks were glorifying drug use and sharing stories of times we used. So, only having ever smoked marijuana, I got out and developed a very severe drug addiction to lots of substances. I truly believe I would have never done any of those drugs if I didn’t go to lifeline. After 4 months of treatment my parents finally listened to me after I had a “permission” to go out and have dinner and see one of my favorite musicals with my parents. I told them of the overeating and 4 square for “exercise”, the mental abuse, degrading comments, and how they tried to diagnose me with Bipolar, severe anger issues, and degrade me as a human any chance they got. As there was no staff to tell me what to say on this permission, my parents listened and HEARD me. Everything I had shared counteracted EVERYTHING lifeline had shared with them about my treatment. They pulled me out of that program that night. And thank god they did because I was developing suicidal ideations while in “treatment”. To this day I suffer with self worth issues stemmed from lifeline. Before lifeline I was outgoing, in sports, social, and enjoyed my family. After, I still resent them a little bit to this day for sending me there and having to endure the mental and emotional trauma lifeline gave me. I love my parents don’t get me wrong, I just wished they went about helping me differently, and didn’t get sucked in to the fantasy lifeline gave them. Lifeline director Dan was very good with his words and saying just the right thing to family’s to make them believe their children where being helped. 7 years later we have lost so many beautiful people I was in treatment with to suicide/overdose. There is no help there, only more suffering.

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